Well, I am a co-editor and my partner is my best friend. she is great, but she always wants to do all of the work and overshadow me and get all of the credit. i stand up to her and tell her that i am going to help, too, but she just blows it off, and i don't want to loose her as a friend but it is slowly wearing me down! our advisor has no idea about what is happening, because even though she tries to stay super involved with us and is awesome, i am trying not to let is show just how bugged i am. it is bothering me even more because i was elected to this position before she was, she was added as my co editor about 2 weeks later, and i dont think she can just come in as the 'underdog' and take over. well, if you have any advice for me at all, i will be so super willing to listen!! thanks!!
Responses
Manda, 8/1/2005, 10:04:25 PM
Okay, I think I have a decent perspective on your situation- I am also a co-editor, and my co-editor happens to be my best friend.
Chances are, if she truly is your best friend, then she should be ok with sitting down and discussing this- not in front of your advisor, but just the two of you. Just tell it to her straight- she might not be realizing what it is she is doing, or she might just be worried that people like you better because you got voted there first. She probably feels like she has to prove herself, and in doing so is alienating you. My suggestion would be to just put all of your cards on the table and talk to her- not accusingly, but more of an "I feel this way..." not a "You are doing this wrong..." Anyway, if you want any other suggestions, or elaboration, email me at yearbookrditor2@hotmail.com
Jinky, 8/1/2005, 11:47:56 PM
Working with someone you have an ill feeling is not very rewarding. You said that your co-editor is your best friend then why don't you just tell her what you feel? She may not be aware that she is hurting you. So go on tell her but be very careful with your words. Remember that sometimes we get to say things that really offend especially when we're angry or hurting. Good luck!
Helper, 8/19/2005, 1:12:47 PM
Well, after reading your what you wrote, i think i can understand what your saying. If you say that you two are best friends then you should be able to tell her how you feel and tell her the situation. I know that i might hurt her, but since she is your best firend, she'll learn to understand and maybe back off. Maybe the reason why your friend hasn't stop because you haven't opened up to her rite?? or how u feel..well anyways. I wish you the best of luck. Oh yeah when you tell her, try to tell her in the nicest way possible!!!!
Shannon, 1/28/2006, 1:11:25 AM
Wow..the exact same thing happened to me! You'll probably argue a lot in the beginning, but eventually things will work out. Try to call her or sit down with her (just her) and talk about it.
Kat, 2/5/2006, 10:53:08 AM
This is interesting because I'm in the opposite sort of position; I'm co-editors with my best friend also, but I'm the one doing all the work. This is mostly because I'm the contact with Jostens, and I'm much more willing to be the tough one when it comes to staff...but it's still irritating because it doesn't seem like she can really help, for the most part.
Part of what might be your problem is the same in my situation; if your friend has all the contacts etc., in her mind it probably seems more difficult to teach her system to you than to just do it herself.
You're lucky in that you know at least you have someone super-involved to work with, and an amazing advisor (mine...not so much). Seriously talk to your friend about it, offer to spend work time with her to learn her ways, and if that doesn't work drop a hint or two to your advisor.
ALSO: if that doesn't work out, another option is to just choose to function like a regular yearbook staff member, which is what I had to do last year. It's a little less rewarding, but a lot less stressful in the long run.
PS. I think I may have posted twice accidentally...apologies.
Crystal, 3/4/2006, 2:45:13 PM
I know how you feel!
We're applying for new positions right now in my journalism class, and my friend had asked me if I wanted to co-EIC with her. In the end, I told her no because I know we both have strong personalities and that it would just make me miserable next year.
I wish you the best of luck. (I didn't say much to help, did I? Sorry)
